Stick to what you have, as what you want is not there!

I came across this good article on itthing.com which discusses the strangest jobs in history. But among these jobs I found the best as well as the worst job profiles. I promise by the end of this post people who feel they have the worst job will fall in love with their current profile! And the ones who feel they already have the best job will have to eat their words! So let’s begin. First profile that we will discuss today is that of a Stercorarius. They were found in ancient Rome at a place where people were living on hills, had no money for plumbing so practically no way to treat their poop! And some were against the sewer system due to its association with foul smell. So the job of a Stercorarius was to travel door to door collecting human waste matter and sell it off to farmers who would use it for their crops. Now there is one question that crops up in my mind: were any of those people (who would give poop to Stercorarius) not farmers? As it is hard to think of any other work they would be doing considering the fact that they were living in rural area and farming was the best occupation in ancient Rome. And if they were farmers themselves then was there a need to give it to someone else! Now let us come to the best profile in the world. It is that of an Orgy planner! (Please don’t confuse it by comparing it with event management!). His job was to plan, of course, an Orgy for the rich. Need I say what all activities it involved and how satisfying this job must be. I am sure many of you would agree to work without pay if you had that choice!
So the moral of the story is if you are not enjoying what your doing currently just think of a Stercorarius and feel happy and if you actually enjoy what you are doing currently (rarest specie in the world) then think of an Orgy planner and feel sad!!

Third 'C' of Selling

My friend asked me once "how does one sell?" and I was at a loss for words. Then I told him there are only two ways in which one can sell: either you convince the customer or you confuse him. Okay I agree we all studied this so there is nothing new to it. But there is something that we didn't study and still it is being used more often than not by people to sell things nowadays. It is the third 'C' of selling apart from the other two i.e. convince and confuse. The third and the most important 'C' nowadays is 'C' for corrupt! We always knew this but it is just that it was never put into theory (for obvious reasons!).
Let us understand this with one example: We have more news channels than news viewers in India today. How do you differentiate and how do you position yourself in the market as any new news channel would realize that all the possible positions have already been taken in the market (double-meaning not intended!). But still you have got to do something to address this issue and the channels (especially business news channels) have actually found a way out i.e. corrupt the audience. They do this by having the most beautiful set of news readers. I am not trying to say that they are there on those channels purely because of their looks; they are of course beauty with more brains than men have. But the channels are capitalizing on their looks because if there is a choice between two channels: one having a male reader and other having a beautiful female reader (other things remaining equal), it goes without saying which channel one will prefer. Again some might say that one needs to be presentable to appear on news channels and I agree with that notion. But I fail to understand how in the recent past these ‘presentable’ news readers invariably turn out to be the most beautiful women on television! And only news channels have to be blamed for this.
Adding weight to my argument is one of the headlines on one political news site (www.politicususa.com) which says “Fox news combines sex with tax”. This headlines comes in the wake of fact that one Fox newsreader (they say Fox cheerleader!) was wearing such a revealing dress that it was practically impossible for anyone to not notice it. And the topic of discussion was “Obama and Tax Cuts” (so it explains the logic behind headline as well as the dress!)

Picture perfect

Of late we have seen how a picture of Jimmy Wales appears on Wikipedia requesting people to donate money for site. But it certainly came as a surprise to me when one Chinese newspaper had a huge picture of the wikipedia founder appealing to the readers on behalf of Maurice Lacroix (A Swiss watch brand) to contribute and that is when I realized that the need was so desperate, though they regularly have these fund raising seasons. The reason why they need money so desperately is, of course, the fact that it is free for all. But we need to consider the fact that operating costs for the year 2010-11 are expected to be somewhere in the range of $20 million!! And from what I have read recently they need $16 million at this stage to remain free.
We have become so used to getting information for free on the net that we have never really given a thought to the fact that someone else is paying for it. What if suddenly from tomorrow wikipedia becomes a paid site? (Thank god I am done with all my college assignments!). But it was nice to hear that last year it did garner donations worth $8 million and hopefully it will continue to do so.
This reminds me of one news that I read recently about a gang in Delhi who are using a picture of Jimmy Wales to extract money from people!! We have seen how beggars show gods’ images and ask for money and we in the name of god tend to give some. But now these same beggars are using Jimmy Wales's picture to earn money. One MBA student in Delhi was feeling proud when she donated Rs.50 to a beggar thinking that it will lessen her guilt for having used wikipedia for all her academic work without ever paying a single penny. But obviously she got the shock of her life when she found out that the nine year old kid at the traffic signal wasn’t on the payroll of Wikipedia! As far as the beggars are concerned they are having a great time as someone who would just give Re.1 on seeing a beggar with a god's image in his hand, is now giving Rs.50 in the name of Jimmy Wales!! Talk about increase in revenue overnight, this gang of beggars beats any corporate hands down!! The funniest part about this whole episode is the fact that police says it won’t be able to take any action on this matter unless there is a written complaint from Jimmy Wales!! I have no idea how much money would have been raised by thee beggars as of now that will certainly not find its way to the Wikimedia Foundation. Jimmy Wales must be wishing he had not used his picture for this!

The 5th ‘P’ of Marketing!

If there is one thing about the subject of marketing that no single student of it would ever forget then it is the concept of 4Ps i.e. product, price, place, promotion. Time has come to add another ‘P’ to it and that is ‘P’ for purpose. Consumers all around the world have become more sensitive to issues such as reducing poverty, child education, protecting environment etc. They expect companies to contribute towards the society in some concrete manner in one way or the other so the companies can’t afford to operate in isolation anymore.
Consumerism is gaining momentum in India so it didn’t come as a surprise to many when Edelman's 2010 GoodPurpose Report ranked India as the numero uno country where people consider social cause more important than any other factor when comes to having an emotional connect with any brand or a company. Report says 80% of Indian consumers volunteer for a cause every 12 months and 85% donate to a cause every 12 months. Some examples of companies that have utilized this ‘P’ to the fullest, and also helped society in the process, include HUL donating fifty paisa for every Lifebuoy sold for the diarrhea project, Whisper contributing Re. 1 for every pack sold for blind relief society, Sponsorship of Anju Bobby George for 2004 Olympics by Sobha developers, ITC’s E-choupal and how can I forget JRD Tata scholarship being one of its’ beneficiary.
It is high time now that the companies started taking this new ‘P’ into consideration while forming their strategies to make sure that they remain on the top consumers’ minds.

Isi baat pe ek chai ho jaye!!

On my way back from office I encountered two contrasting business models for the same product i.e. tea/coffee. One was the ubiquitous tea stall named Santosh tea/coffee stall near sakinaka where my bus was awaiting green signal since last three years! I was watching constant influx of people inside that small hotel when I happened to see the message written on one of the walls which read "muft mein baithna mana hai". Finally when the bus moved I came across a CCD selling same thing with the tagline "a lot can happen over coffee". Santosh tea stall of course depends on the volumes of business done and more interested in pushing people out to make sure that they survive whereas on the other hand CCD survives on those who have all the 'muft' time in the world and don't mind spending a fortune for a cup of coffee as they get to spend (read waste) some quality time (read muft time). Anyways whether sitting idle in CCD and spending both money and time (or going to a Santosh tea stall and saving both) is worth or not is not the topic of this post and at the same time it is very unfair on my part to compare these two entities. Though personally I would prefer a Santosh tea stall (I know my friends are going to kill me for this). What I find most amazing about this whole thing is the fact that both business models are alive and kicking. Actually I spent more time thinking about the title for this post than I spent for writing it but still could not think of a title so I decided to go for this one which is completely unrelated to the topic so extremely sorry for that!

Dilemma regarding ‘death sticks’

Just came across one report called Economics of Tobacco and Tobacco Taxation in India (a Bloomberg initiative) which claims that almost two crores lives could be saved in India over the next few decades if the taxes are raised on bidis and cigarettes. It also says that internationally 65-80 percent of cigarette’s retail price could be attributed to taxes which are very low in India i.e. 9 percent for bidis and 38 percent for cigarettes.
Basic theme of the report is that higher prices will discourage youth from taking up smoking and force current smokers to quit. Report also goes on to mention some figures as to how the revenue of the government will increase manifold and thousands of lives will be saved after doing this: 10% rise in the price of tobacco is expected to reduce bidi consumption by 9.1% and cigarette by 2.6% and if India increases its tax rate on bidis from Rs 14 to Rs 98 per 1000 sticks (from 9% to 40% of retail price) and on cigarettes from Rs 659 to Rs 3691 per 1000 sticks (from 38% to 78% of retail price), 18.9 million lives will be saved.
But I have my own reservations about the claims made by the report. One of them being the price elasticity mentioned in it as I doubt whether a 10% increase will have any impact on cigarette sales as mentioned (I am not considering the bidi sales as non-cigarette tobacco products accounting for 85% of the tobacco consumption contributes only 15% of the total tobacco taxes) as someone who has been smoking for a while is not likely to quit smoking just because the price has increased. Even if we assume that this data on elasticity is true, the increase in price that is suggested in the report is practically impossible to implement overnight. One worse scenario that is possible is something which happened in Canada when similar price increase was undertaken. Suddenly there was a boom in the contraband cigarettes market there. Illegal sale of cigarettes not only led to the loss of revenue for the government in the form of taxes, it also made it possible for minors to buy cigarettes easily and cheap in the black market. Occurrences of cigarette butts being found near schools and playgrounds increased drastically. So obviously illogical increase in the retail price of cigarettes could lead to the same in India as well and at the same time minor increase in the price just for the sake of it would not impact consumption. It will increase revenue for sure but may not serve the actual purpose i.e. decrease in consumption.

Zandu balm leads to pain for the makers of Dabangg

Recent controversy surrounding the movie Dabangg has provided much needed fodder to the channels which were almost on the verge of extinction due to dearth of any public disputes. Movie, that has created history at the box office by minting a whopping Rs 14.40 crore on the first day it was released in more than 2,000 theatres, has been issued notice by Emami for using the words ‘Zandu balm’ in one of its songs.
What is puzzling me is the fact that there was an article in the newspaper that mentioned an agreement between the company and the producers regarding the usage of these terms in the song, despite this the company has threatened to take producers to the court. In fact, there was also some news of launching an ad featuring the song along with the product. I am not sure as to who is at fault but I don’t see any reason why Emami is making an issue out of it. Zandu balm which enjoys monthly sales of about 20 crores has made nearly 25 crores within a month after the song was released! Shopkeepers interviewed in certain rural areas have actually experienced increase in sales and even the officials of the company have attributed success of the product to the song. Then why all this fuss, it is hard to imagine.

Ice-cream to boost libido

trendwatching.com recently came out with an issue called ‘Maturialism’ focusing on the new-age consumer and how he doesn’t shy away from trying out products that would have scared his grand parents off to death! One thing that drew my attention the most was the UK ice cream brand The Icecreamists which has recently come out with an x-rated flavor: The Sex Pistol! Just the mention of the‘s’ word for an ice cream brand would lead one to conclude that it is illogical and absurd, but that is not all. One of the ingredients used for making this ice cream is a tree called ginkgo biloba known more for its aphrodisiac qualities! And this particular flavor is considered to be so effective that sales were restricted to one per person during its launch! And you thought Viagra had no alternative.
I just wonder what would happen if this brand was to be launched in India? We would see a new flavor sex pistol just below kesar pista! One more reason for the so-called protectors of Indian traditions to create havoc, news channels creating a special one hour programme every two hours, may be a debate in a parliament as to whether consumption of ice cream should be banned in the public places and what not. Whereas I completely agree that product like this should be consumed at home strictly but a bigger question is whether we are ready to accept it? Not at this stage I guess.

Food for thought

I have always loved stumbling upon new sites while surfing the internet. If you do that consistently chances are that you would come across certain sites where every article you read would be weirder than the last one that you would have read. So I thought of sharing some news with my readers (i.e. I, me and myself), as the last time there was a hit on my blog was when I uploaded my previous post!
I was just checking out some product launches that have hit the headlines recently when I came across some of the weirdest products one could imagine. One of them being The Jesus toaster where the toaster toasts the image of Jesus Christ on bread! I don’t understand the kind of people the product is targeting: people who believe in god or people who are atheist. As a believer in god I would never like to eat anything with a Ganesha or a Krishna print on it, so people who believe in god are out. And someone who doesn’t believe in god will never spend money on anything like it, so even they are out. The toaster that is being sold at almost $40 has received some good reviews from the general public with many believing it to be a brilliant innovation but how that initial feedback is converted into sales remains to be seen.

Economics of IPL

Now that the IPL saga has come to an end (or started depending upon which part of it you find more interesting: Cricket or controversies) I thought about writing this post to discuss the impact of IPL not just on Cricket but on us as individuals. The most striking thing about IPL has been the figures that we have seen. Before you head into the wrong direction let me clarify that I am not talking about the figures of cheerleaders who had the privilege of dancing in front of almost 40-50,000 people daily (something that even big actresses in Hindi film industry dream of). Though there were some matches where the stadium was emptier than my wallet and add to that some boring display of batting in a couple of matches which made it possible for cheerleaders to take some rest and even play a game of cards in between! However, I am talking about the financial figures which were unheard of in Cricket. One UK agency Brand Finance which put the brand value of EPL at around $12 billion put IPL’s value at around $2.01 billion in 2009 and $4.13 billion in 2010! Surprising thing about this is not the figure but the fact that EPL has been around for a while and IPL is only three-years old! It is difficult not to smell foul play in this as it is quite clear that as far as IPL is concerned it is a valuation game. It started with some moderate figures (have to call them moderate considering the current trends) where the most expensive team was Mumbai Indians ($112.9 Million). Even with players, Dhoni who was the most expensive player got around $1.5 Million which made news for weeks. There was also the concept of icon players who were not put up for auction (thank god we were not subjected to something like "Tendulkar sold for...!"). Icon players got 1.15 times the amount received by the highest earning member of their team. Laxman was one of them but he himself opted out (again thank god he did that as it would have been disturbing to see someone like him get more than Symonds or anyone else for that matter!). However this concept was discontinued from this year (finally sanity prevailed). Second year of IPL saw a few transfers between teams and auction of players like Kevin Pietersen and Andrew Flintoff for $1.55 Million each (i.e. higher than Dhoni). It was the 3rd IPL which saw bids going through the roof for players as well as for the new teams. Figures of these teams were astonishing to say the least: Pune franchise was sold to Sahara for $370 million and Kochi went to Rendezvous Sports World Limited for $333.33 million. So a total of $703.3 Million for two teams compared to $725.5 Million for eight teams! Accordingly these new teams will be paying up huge amount of annual fees: 10% of cost of franchise (very expensive maintenance, I must say, compared to old teams). Third IPL saw Bond going to KKR for $1.3 million and Pollard to MI for $2.75 million (whereas base price for him was just $200,000). Let's just put these figures in perspective: Pollard would get only $7, 50,000 of $2.75 million (a player can't get more than $7, 50,000 according to the rules) and the rest of the money will go to IPL. There was a tie for pollard at $7, 50,000 and then there was silent tie-break (read money-spinner for IPL) where the highest bid was made by MI. So MI got the player all right but the process is such that bids are bound to reach new heights every time there is a tie-break as the maximum price is kept at a relatively lower level inducing all teams to go up to that level and then for the tie-break and the way things are going you can rest assured that there are going to be more and more tie-breaks!

Ad rates went up like anything considering what the sponsors have paid this year compared to the last couple of years. Ad revenues for IPL 1 were around 300 crores, 450 crores for IPL 2 and, reports say, revenues for IPL 3 are around 750 crores. Ad rates were about Rs. 1-1.5 lacs (for a 10-second slot) for first season then it went up to Rs. 2.5 lacs in second and third season saw ad rates reaching the heights of 4.5-5 lacs. The 10-second slots were sold for almost 9-10 lacs for the finals in IPL 3, higher than the Rs 8 lacs for T20 World Cup final between India and Pakistan. One thing to be noted here is that the TRP for the World Cup Final was 9.21 whereas for IPL 3 it was much lower!! (One more example of over pricing) But still things are only going to get better for SET Max next year with the addition of two teams. Even if we assume that the ad rates will remain constant (which is very unlikely) the sponsors will have to shell out more as the number of matches will increase to 94 and according to the rules the sponsors have to buy some minimum seconds per match.

Now look at the impact of IPL on us. One simple rule is if somebody is earning money then somebody must be paying it. Let’s consider this from the perspective of IPL. When someone says that IPL has been a money-spinner for one and all, one question that deserves an answer is who pays them? Delving more into it we realize that money earned by IPL (going into central pool and then getting divided between franchise owners) comes from various sources like Gate receipts, In-stadium or On-ground advertising, Rights sold to Broadcasters etc. Now the money that is generated in the form of tickets is paid by us, which is perfectly fine (though there has been a steep increase in the price of tickets for IPL 3 compared to IPL 1). Now, what about the rest of the money (major chunk of IPL income) that comes from selling broadcasting and advertising rights. SET Max makes money like anything which is quite obvious from the figures given above. Companies (advertisers) don’t agree to pay up huge amount of money to the channel and for on-ground ads for nothing. Whatever money is spent by these companies (for Television ads, In-stadium, On-ground ads) becomes part of their marketing budget, I am sure. This marketing budget is part of an overall cost structure of any product or service. So when the margin on that product or service is decided, it would be over and above all the costs including the unbridled costs of marketing which will lead to a higher price. And surprising thing about all this is that we will be paying up for all this as we only consume all the products and services offered by these companies (read sponsors)!! We may not realize (or should I say mind) this when it will come to us in the form of increased prices. It will be interesting to compute IPL index to track this!

My objective is not to question the business model whose success is quite obvious and I have followed it all through (leaving office early in the name of customer visits!). I am game even if the next season of IPL starts next month! But what I want to convey through this post is that let’s just not consider it a success because of the quantum of money that is getting exchanged between a select few paid by all of us directly or indirectly. Let’s just give some credit ourselves who don’t mind paying that extra bit directly (tickets etc) or indirectly (increased prices of products). So IPL owes its success to us! So we all need to take a call here: Either we all agree to pay whatever is asked for in the form of ticket prices and increased prices of products without questioning it or we don’t (please note that we have no choice but to agree!). From the perspective of a viewer and consumer I just hope that IPL continues and continues for a long period of time. But for that to happen it needs to make sure that there is no overdose of Cricket (come on guys, brace yourselves for 94 matches next year!!) or commentators who can bore you to death with their commonplace comments like “I think they need to take early wickets” or “First few overs are going to be crucial” (especially of people like Atul Wassan who has taken 20-odd wickets in his bowling career at international level but always has some advice for players like Tendulkar!) and that valuation of players and teams are done rationally! Because unless this is done, I feel, it will become unsustainable for franchise, in their race to outbid each other, and for advertisers as well. They should not take the viewership numbers for granted. That is why I feel all the controversies surrounding IPL may turn out to be blessing in disguise for IPL as not many companies would like to be associated with a tainted league. I actually hope these controversies (discussed in detail below) turn out to be true so that IPL may lose a bit of bargaining power with stakeholders helping in turn to keep a check over money being exchanged and overall valuation (which seems exaggerated). This will be good for us (Cricket fans as well as consumers) at least! Till then its game on!
Controversies:

I am covering this topic separately as I don’t want the controversies part to mix with what I was trying to say, which is a different topic altogether. Recently IPL has been making news for all the wrong reasons. It all started with Lalit Modi tweeting as to how he was asked by Shashi Tharoor to not ask for ownership details of Kochi team. Sunanda Pushkar (a friend of Shashi Tharoor) got equity in the company when she was not entitled to it. So she was rightly asked to forfeit it. Then the news channels went crazy discussing ownership details of all teams, with some of then tracing their roots to Mauritius. (The problem with news channels is that when they are good to you they’ll talk about all your virtues even the ones you were not aware of, like they did with IPL and team owners. I remember one channel going to the extent out counting hugs given by Shilpa Shetty to her team members! And after this controversy they started questioning the Mauritius connection of all teams). I believe this is one issue which was blown out of proportion as even some well known companies have been using the Mauritius route of investment for a long time which entitles them to certain monetary benefits. So there was no need to get shocked on hearing this and make an issue out of it. After that, news came that IPL isn’t paying any taxes and working as a charitable organization (this may qualify as the joke of the century) and that it has been using all its earnings to promote the game of Cricket! There were also accusations of match fixing and betting. If all this is proved true then the league may lose some reputation for sure. Till then all is well, almost!
In case you have survived the whole post here’s some numbers for you.

Following information has been taken from newspaper articles and it is by no means exhaustive in fact there are newspapers quoting different figures. There are other sources for income as well for which information wasn’t found. So do share if you have any.

* Icon Player Concept (System removed from 2010)
They earn 15% more than highest earner in their team. Players covered: Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid, Sourav Ganguly, Yuvraj Singh, Virender Sehwag)
* Money going into the central pool to be divided in ratio of 40:54:6 for IPL:Franchise:Prize Money. Ratio after 2017 will change to 50:45:5.
* Broadcasting rights went to SET Max and WSG for Rs. 8700 Crores for 10 years. They re-sold parts of their rights in different countries.
* Kingfisher paid Rs. 106 crores for 5 years (Ads on Umpires)
* DLF Group US$50 million for 5 years
* Hero Honda $22.5-million for 5 years
* PepsiCo $12.5-million for 5 years
* Vodafone $25 Million (not sure about the duration)
* Rights for Mobile applications went to DCI Mobile Studios/Sigma Ventures of Singapore till 2017 (amount not known)
* Live Current Media Inc. won the rights to run IPL portals
* Contract with YouTube for 2 years
* Theatre rights went to UFO Moviez covering 1700 screens
* licensing deal with Colors for abour Rs. 600 crores for 3 years

Never seen something like this

Last Saturday I managed to leave office early as I had some personal work (read buying vegetables for my home). When I reached the vegetable market I felt almost the whole of India had come to buy vegetables in Ghatkopar. It was so crowded I am sure even air would have found it difficult to make its way through! Finally I was able to locate the vegetable that my mother had asked me to buy. This market is a long lane where vendors are situated on both sides covering almost all the shops behind them. When I was browsing through the stuff I realized that many people had gathered around that particular area. When asked, the vendor drew my attention to the nearby shop selling clothes. There was this guy standing outside the shop wearing a Sherwani, a crown of sorts on his head, hand gloves and what not. He was actually playing the role of a mannequin outside the shop. Every five seconds he would do a namaste to people standing outside and those coming to the shop as if welcoming them. Then the vendor told me that he had been doing this since 9 in the morning and had taken just two breaks for 15 minutes and it was already 7.30 in the evening! I was amazed to see this and so were the others who had actually started taking pictures and shooting with their cell phones. He was sweating like hell but still doing his namaste continuously aware of the fact that people were staring at him and taking his pictures just five feet away from him. I stood there for about 25 minutes and saw him doing it at regular intervals of about five seconds. He was so accurate and consistent with what he was doing that it was difficult to believe him as human. Finally I decided to leave praying nobody would ever have to do something like this and hoping that person would be paid adequately for this. Just when I started walking I came across another shop selling clothes. Window display of that shop had one amazing sight to offer: there was one light green shirt with a picture of a cartoon, never-seen-before, just below the pocket. The funny part is not this but the fact that there was a small board right on the shirt reading “Buy 3 FORMAL Shirts for Rs. 499”!!!

Train Journey part 2

Coming back to platform no. 7 of Kurla station, while I was waiting for my train yesterday, I saw one train carrying people from Panvel to CST for work. Thing that attracted my attention to that train was the ad printed all over it. It was the NSE ad saying “Engine that fuels a billion dreams”. It was a fitting tribute to that train engine carrying hundreds of people pursuing their dreams. Just when I was appreciating my sense of observation I was distracted by one couple who I bet is a case of extra marital affair. It is just the way they talk, look, and smile each other and the way people stare at them you can be sure that they are married but not to each other but still love each other! I make it a point to travel with them so that I can be a witness to their affair.
There are also some who have advice for Obama as to what should be his next step and how he should go about maintaining relations with India, Pakistan and Gulf. One more love story involves a gujju guy (I know he is a gujju as I have seen him laugh at a joke being shared by two gujjus sitting beside him) who boards the train from Kurla with his friend (who looks and sounds like a south Indian) and they are joined by one Maharashtrian girl (I know she is a maharashtrian as I have heard her talk on the phone with someone)) at chembur. Girl and that gujju guy say hi to each other and that is it. From then on the girl and that gujju guy would only talk to the other guy but never to each other. They get down at Nerul but between Chembur and Nerul I see them looking at each other at different points of time. One need not be the god of love to find out that they like each other but feel shy (a case very rare indeed nowadays, as sometimes people feel shy looking at couples!) talking to each other. And I have seen that other guy sometimes wink at the gujju guy as if asking him to talk to the girl but still I haven't seen them talk to each other apart from the daily 'hi". If you find this story interesting just give me a call I'll give you daily updates.
There are a couple of B-Schools that side whose students spend more time reading Economic Times than their textbooks (one reason why sales of Economic Times are increasing and number of pages getting Xeroxed is reaching new heights!). I forgot to mention a group of gujjus (five boys) who travel in the same train. I hate them more than I hate the dressing sense of Rakhi Sawant as I rarely hear them talking in gujju language. More than this I hate them because I heard one of them saying once "my daadi sends me messages in Gujarati, I find it so difficult to understand, it is just irritating and she wants me reply to it" with all his friends agreeing with him. Worst part is his daadi took the efforts to learn how to send a message, which very few would know of her age, to keep in touch with her grandson but that guy doesn't want to reply as he finds it boring and irritating.
You must have observed the posters that we see in trains which make tall claims but everyone knows that they are not genuine. Generally they would be of unknown companies but yesterday I saw one poster written with worst font possible, white background and third class quality of paper, it was of Barclays bank offering loans to people from 25k-5l with minimum documents required. Companies are spending money to build their brands and this company is spending money to destroy it. But one ad that I would never forget is the one that I saw last week where a pic of a bikini clad girl was pasted on the name of the company and along side written was the this ad "pay Rs.6000 for unlimited trading for three months and that too limited period offer"! I hope you enjoyed reading this post as much as I did experiencing and writing it. In case you want to be a part of it you can always join me at Kurla Station for the 08.03 train to Panvel!

Train Journey part 1

If there is one place in Mumbai where you can encounter people and emotions of all kinds then it is the public transport system of Mumbai, especially the local trains. Here are some of my experiences. There is this guy who takes the same train as I do everyday at Kurla station. He has an Ipod and a Nokia N73; he wears branded glares, likes to talk loud on his cell phone so that everyone around him notices him, changes shoes almost every month but still travels by second class. His case just amazes me if he has the money to spend on things that I have just mentioned why in the hell does he have to travel by second class? I just wonder whether whatever he wears or uses is borrowed from someone else as those things get changed as quickly as a 20-20 match. I know I would never know the truth but still he is a character worth mentioning.
There are also people who don't like spending money on newspaper but like reading them. So they come a bit early, miss a couple of trains and spend those few minutes reading newspapers at a newspaper vendor on platform! They go through all the newspapers they can get their hands on. The vendor can not force them to buy the paper or ask them to go away, he can only hope that some of them would actually buy it but nobody does as a person wanting to buy would not waste his time going through all newspapers; he would just buy it and go away. You would also encounter some great athletes there who could actually win a gold medal at Olympics. I am talking about those who put their lives at stake and cross tracks just to save a few seconds. One set of people that makes me laugh the most is the group of students who spend almost an eternity at a vendor selling chips, chocolates etc going through everything that is there to be sold and eventually buying one Mentos each for themselves! These are not just one-time incidents as I encounter these people everyday and travel with them in the same train. This reminds me of one-off incident when I saw one guy wearing a superman t-shirt with matching slippers walking with such confidence as if he just bought the station ten minutes ago.
One of the painful sights that I experience everyday is the sight of a poor aged lady begging for a living. On one hand we talk about India being one of the fastest growing economies in the world but there are number of people like her (aged and begging) who deserve a better life (I don't support those beggars who are young and can work but still beg for a living, unless they are unable to find work). When countries sit down to calculate the so called development index they should consider whether people like her get at least two meals a day because unless this happens the development gets restricted only a few. One observation that I have made concerning beggars is that when a person gives money to them it has a huge impact on people standing around as even they reach out for their wallet. This may not be true all the time but it does happen. So the next time you give money to someone make sure that you get noticed by people around you. One more request: as far as giving money to beggars is concerned one would agree that for years the amount that we give to them remains unchanged. Even today people give fifty paise or a rupee like they used to give five-six years back. I hope you all would agree when I say that the inflation affects everyone (including beggars) so if the money that we give remains unchanged, real income in their hands decreases so kindly give more. This however may have a negative impact because if everyone starts giving more then they may lose an incentive to work so make sure that you give only to those who actually deserve. Here also question arises whether to give to young but we would never know whether they are jobless by choice or not so take your call. If I have bored you with this topic then one thing about them on a lighter note: I read in one newspaper 2-3 years ago that Mumbai beggars earn Rs. 180 crores a year! And just for your information there are a few beggars in Mumbai whose daily earnings range from 1000-2500 and some of them have properties whose value run into lacs!! In case you want to see them beg (or rather mint money) you can find them at places like Lokhandwala, Charni road, Azad maidan.

How not to promote your brand

A number of new ways are being used by people to reach out to the prospects. There are usual ways where people stick posters almost anywhere in a train advertising their services like earn two lacs in a month or loans within five minutes or advice on love, sex and what not and recently they have a found a new place to promote their services: Handles. New locals have transparent plastic handles where it is possible to push in a visiting card. I saw one Insurance advisor's visiting card nicely tucked in 4-5 handles enabling him to reach out to even those who were standing near the door and all this for free. At the same time there are some who have failed in their attempt to advertise even after spending money on it.
You must have noticed a huge poster of some well known Commerce classes just in front of Vidyavihar station’s platform. It is just a few feet above the ground and considering the height at which the passengers stand the poster comes right in front of you if you are standing outside. One may feel at this stage that the particular commerce academy has placed its ad in the right place but it is not the case. As whenever a train comes to the platform you would see people spitting paan on the posters. I had the privilege of seeing one guy spit right on the face of a student who was one of the toppers!! It is almost impossible to recognize the face of the students. Thank god I have never been a topper. Lesson: Make sure you put your posters above and away from people and not in front of them even though you are targeting them!
Even worse thing I observed outside Belapur station where somebody was giving away free copies of one of the respected newspapers. I am not saying giving away things for free is bad for publicity, in fact they are welcome! Problem here was that the person who was giving away newspaper for FREE was standing just two feet away from a newspaper vendor who was SELLING the same thing!! Company should try and avoid this kind of situation; the person should have been instructed about this. This is insult to those who actually pay money for that newspaper and that too just two feet away. Giving things for free may work in case of product launches or magazines like JAM or JLT which target youngsters and give away the copies of last issue (not the current issue) for free and people don't mind as it doesn't contain any current news but this can not be done with newspaper which loses its value the very next day. But this should be avoided with newspapers if possible and even if you are doing something similar to this make sure the ones who are paying for it are unaware of this! The worst part about this thing is that this has been happening for more than a week now. If I have subscribed to that newspaper I won't mind if it is given away for free once or twice. But if this goes on for a longer period of time than it just loses value.

Few more victims of the replacement drive

Okay I agree I have already written about a similar topic earlier but last week I came across a few examples which made me think of it once again. And the peculiar thing about these examples is that all of them involve instances of individuals getting replaced and not the businesses. I'll tell you about these examples in the order in which they occurred. I work in Belapur (yes, the same place where your neighbor would have gone for a one-day picnic last Sunday) and I stay in Ghatkopar (the most happening suburb), so everyday I have to change trains from Ghatkopar-Kurla-Belapur and back. It’s been almost eight months since I have been doing this. Any person who has done the same would agree that I actually deserve a Bharat Ratna award for this! Though traveling from Kurla to Belapur is not that much of a pain but it is the Ghatkopar-Kurla route (distance of only two stations) which squeezes all energy out of me, literally! So I actually plan to write this as one of my achievements on my resume.
It is during the journey from Kurla-Belapur that I get to listen to radio and this is when I came across one of the examples which I wish to mention. Though this has been happening for a long time it struck me just last week. I heard Raju Srivastav radio jockeying on one of the radio stations. I agree we all know this and there is nothing shocking about it but I was just thinking that when he first appeared on some channel he was competing with other stand-up comedians and now suddenly he has replaced some radio jockey! On reaching office I met a friend of mine who was busy making arrangements for an auction to sell secondary products and this is the second example. Earlier the secondary products used to be sold by individuals who would meet the prospective buyers personally but today a system is in place which makes it possible for the prospective buyers to just log in online and start bidding. Again, auction is not a new thing but it's just that it is being used for something which was earlier done by individuals (who were highly paid). What happens now is that only one person (he need not be qualified, so less costly to hire) is required to handle the whole auction and once it starts the person can go out for a coffee as he is also not required to remain there! On coming back home I saw my brother ordering food from a nearby restaurant. When asked, he told me that there was some problem with the LPG stove and that mother had gone to purchase a new stove. Next day a rickshaw wala, who had been sent by the store where my mother had placed the order for a new stove, came with the stove. But no one from the store accompanied him so I assumed somebody would come later on for the installation. But then I saw that the same rickshaw wala started doing the installation. Later he mentioned that he had been trained by the store to do the installation as well so that no other person would have to be employed!
It seems everyone is under threat of being replaced unless you are actually doing something which only you can do as I am doing (writing long and boring blogs about topics nobody is interested in).

Can't 'imagine' the logic behind this

Finally some respite for people who like watching good comedy shows on TV as I do. I am talking about the new show that has just started on NDTV Imagine: 'Rahul Dulhaniya Le Jayega'. The other day I was watching one of its episodes where more than a dozen girls (wannabes) coming from all parts of India were trying hard to woo Rahul in order to make him desire them! I could be tried and imprisoned for sacrilege by the aesthetics society of India if I referred to all of them as ‘girls’ as some of them seem to have been gracing the earth since an eternity at least! Apart from this, one more observation made was that whenever there was a break during the programme (the funniest programme I mean), a countdown would begin on the left-top of the screen. This countdown indicated the time remaining for the ads to get over and the show to start. One more thing to be noted here is that this countdown doesn't begin as soon as the ads start, it starts only when about 3 minutes are remaining. May be their thinking behind this is that it would take a few moments before people would start getting irritated with ads and switch to other channel and before they do so, the timer will appear and make them remain on the same channel as no one would like to miss out on their favorite shows. But I have a different story to tell and I am sure you would agree with this. While I was watching this show and there was a break, quickly my brother switched to some other channel without waiting even for a second and even if he had managed to stay with the same channel till the timer appeared I am sure that warning (i.e. only 2 minutes to go) wouldn’t have stopped him from switching to other channels as we all know that it only takes few moments for us to browse through all the channels that our Cablewala has to offer! In fact I feel this may go against them as I experienced yesterday when I was watching the same show and ads came, my brother snatched the remote from me and switched to some news channel (one more source of comedy nowadays) where one reporter was speaking confidently about the place where he thought Laden was hiding (as if he only booked the ticket for him). When I told my brother to not change the channel as only two minutes were remaining he said two minutes is a lot of time and that he would switch to this channel before it starts and that he can’t wait for two long minutes as there are others channels to be explored! People consider themselves fortunate if they are able get daily dose of their favorite show for two continuous minutes without any ads in between them. As sometimes it feels like we are watching ads and in between some show is being telecast!

Irreplaceable is nothing

I remember studying one article 'Marketing Myopia' by Theodore Levitt while I was in college. It explained how parochialism on part of the companies or the industries could eventually lead to their destruction. It also talked about industries which defined their business scope narrowly and didn't give a thought to what future could have in store for them. Article gives examples of some industries which went out of business and some others which almost suffered the same fate due to their narrow outlook: take railroad industry which believed it was in railroad business instead of transportation, Hollywood thought it was in movie making business instead of entertainment business and how incandescent lamp replaced kerosene light. Levitt emphasized that companies should be customer oriented rather than product oriented.
Recently I came across one such example though on a much smaller scale i.e. manufacturing of LPG cylinders. There was an article in one newspaper which mentioned as to how the bulky LPG cylinders that we are using now could get replaced by cylinders made of fiberglass and polymer. These cylinders will be non-corrosive and more stylish though there will be no subsidy and they will be more expensive than the regular ones (Regular Cylinders cost The Oil Marketing companies (OMCs) around Rs.1050 but the new ones will cost around Rs.3200). They are planning to import around one lakh cylinders on a trial basis for metros. Secondly, at many places these cylinders have already been replaced by gas pipelines so some business is lost there too. I don't know whether the companies which have been making the conventional cylinders have the technology or the manpower to switch to making this new type of cylinders (I have no idea whether the new cylinders will do well or not) but this development certainly provides a reason to give it a serious thought. One more aspect to this could be the Steel companies which supply steel to these manufacturers. Agreed Steel companies cater to a number of sectors but LPG business is relatively more consistent compared to other sectors accounting for reasonably good sales for them.
However it is too early to jump to any conclusion at this stage but if things go well for the new cylinders then the B-School students could have one more case study to discuss when they study ‘Marketing Myopia’!

Relationship between Laziness, Automobile sales & Pollution

Whenever I go out with my family the first thing that I do once I get out of my building is to look for a rickshaw whereas my father would continue walking. This actually sums up one-third of my argument in this post i.e. present generation is lazier than the previous one. The other one-third of my argument being that this laziness is leading to more sales and the last one-third of my point being that everything that I have just mentioned is leading to more pollution!

Last week on my way to Ghatkopar station I made an interesting observation that majority of the people walking belonged to the 30-plus age group and those below 30 preferred going by rickshaw or private vehicles. This pattern has remained consistent since then. This is shocking as one would actually expect the reverse. But as I mentioned above, our parents don't mind walking a long distance whereas we wouldn't mind spending Rs10-15 just to cover a couple of alleys. The only positive that I see here is that youngsters are actually helping in automobile sales but the negative part is that it is creating pollution. As if this wasn't enough, we have found out a new way of increasing pollution i.e. home delivery. It has become a norm to order food which has forced restaurants to employ a few delivery boys and there are many who use scooters, bikes for the purpose which is again leading to pollution though even this is adding to vehicle sales! One may argue that even if one doesn't order and decides to go to the restaurant he will use some mode of transport which will again create pollution so the situation remains as it is. It is this attitude that needs to be changed. Why can't we just walk to a restaurant and also save some money in the process?

If not for environmental reasons one may do this for personal reasons i.e. to reduce flab which is becoming more and more obvious with an increase in the sales of XXL T-shirts! Speaking of environment reminds me of latest Idea ad which talks about tree conservation. Nice ad that by Idea (I have no idea whether it is leading to sales). Anyways, the other day I had gone to a restaurant with friends (of course I didn’t go by rickshaw or car!) where this idea came to my mind that why can’t we have a system where while we give order we also give our cell number and the bill is messaged on that number which we can show to the person at the counter and make payment accordingly. Even this can do wonders as far as tree conservation is concerned as a lot of paper can be saved.

Vision & Mission: Relevance in present scenario

Just attended one seminar last Sunday which was basically about how the companies should try to work towards business excellence. There one of the speakers talked at length about the importance of vision & mission of the company as to how the company’s character is communicated through its vision & mission and how people develop a certain attitude towards a company that has a clear vision of where it wants see itself certain years down the line and how it plans to reach there. But somehow I feel that these things don’t hold too much of importance in today’s world where everyone is looking for a best deal and not the best company to deal with! So I questioned the speaker about this but he got offended may be because I questioned the central theme of his lecture! So I left it at that.

But since then I have been thinking about it and the speaker whose mission, it seemed, was to convey the importance of vision to the audience! He kept on stressing on one thing i.e. the stakeholders. He held the view that the stakeholders would deal only with those companies whose vision & mission coincided with their belief and principles. Let’s consider a case of some company whose stakeholders would obviously be shareholders, employees, creditors, suppliers, government, society and customers. Now what percentage of these stakeholders would know the vision & mission of the company they are dealing with? Let’s take one by one.

Investors: Barring a few who actually do a thorough analysis of a company (whether it involves the analysis of vision & mission is still a question), most of the people invest in a company on the basis of tips they receive!

Employees: How many employees would recall their company’s objectives? Not the job hoppers at least! I am sure all the B-School graduates would remember though as they have to mug up the vision & mission of all the companies that come to campus but they forget it as soon as the company leaves!

Creditors: Even in case of creditors, I feel, they would see the financial ability of the firm before dealing with them. They wouldn’t just lend to the companies having a nice vision statement.

Suppliers: Suppliers would obviously look for long term relationship and location advantage while dealing with the companies regardless of its vision.

Government: I don’t think the government would have any problems as long as the company pays its dues (taxes and other payments!) on time.

Society: The society is okay with a company if it has not specified its vision and mission as long as the company carries out some socially responsible activities and contributes towards social welfare.

Customers: Last but not the least, the smartest set of people alive: the customers. When was the last time you heard your friend saying that he didn’t buy a particular pair of jeans for his girl friend as the apparel company didn’t have a good mission!

So where do we stand now? Does a company need vision? Of course it does! I was fortunate enough to have read the book ‘Made in Japan’ (about Akio Morita and Sony) before I wrote this post where he explained the importance of having a goal in life and how that goal gives directions to all your efforts otherwise things go haywire. He mentioned how after Russia became the first country to reach outer space; President Kennedy announced mission to reach moon within ten years. It was that announcement that set the ball rolling and all efforts started being directed towards the accomplishment of that mission or vision whatever one may call it. So vision & mission are important but what is more important is its communication to its stakeholders and sincere efforts on your part to show that you actually mean everything you mention on your flashy site and that you are taking pains to work towards their realization.

Before I end this post, I would like to mention one more thing to confuse you all. Though I have been using Google (arguably the biggest brand) regularly, I had never bothered to know its mission & vision. But while writing this post I decided to find it out. After a lot of search (of course on Google) I came to know that Google doesn’t have a vision, it only has a mission! So now it’s up to you to decide whether vision & mission are necessary or not. Because I am not committing anything!

Please read this

Life of Hijras has always been a mystery in India. I was looking for some information when I came across an interesting article on Wikipedia where I found out a few interesting things about them. One of them being that the Hijras used to be employed as the servants for female royalty in the imperial palaces and enjoyed a very high status in those times. In fact many families converted one of their children into a Hijra so that the child could get a good job in one of the palaces which would ensure a steady income for the family. Later this practice was banned by Aurangzeb in 1668. Compare that to the present time where they are not being given the respect that any human being deserves. Agreed their blessings are revered by many families who welcome them whenever a child is born or there is a shop opening where they come, sing, give their blessings and in turn get sweets, sarees and money from the families and that is it. This doesn't guarantee a livelihood as we see them asking for money at traffic signals, in trains etc. They don't get jobs as people are not ready to accept them for what they are. Today, as we see, they are suffering and being deprived of a normal life for no fault of theirs which is very unfair. So the least that we can do for them is to create opportunities where even they get a chance to live a normal life as we do.

One solution that I suggest is this: Pharmaceutical companies can develop a new distribution channel with their help. Their network is very strong and they are always aware of the number of births taking place in a particular area. Since they visit all those houses where a birth takes place, companies can ask them to sell their baby care products to those families and at the same time companies can also get data about the likely births in a particular area which can help them predict demand and make arrangements in advance. People are more likely to listen to them than those salesmen who at times can irritate people to death. This will lead to a situation where the Hijras will get a normal livelihood and companies will develop a new distribution channel and it will also act as a CSR activity. I know that their reach is restricted to certain areas but still that shouldn’t stop companies from taking their help in selling their products as they, I certainly believe, have the potential to become the best sales force.

Kindly recognize the unofficial union

This post, to an extent, is related to the one I had written earlier but I decided to mention it separately as the earlier one had got a bit longer and I didn’t want anyone to lose interest midway! I am sure all housewives are witnessing this unofficial alliance of domestic servants (kamwali bai as they are popularly known). Recently one of my neighbor’s servant had not come for 8 days without giving any prior notice. So finally when she came she was scolded by my neighbor and asked to leave. But when she started looking for another servant she wasn’t able to find one or let’s just say that nobody was ready to take up the job giving reasons like “time nai hai” so my neighbor was left with no choice but to call her back. There is no point hinting at some union here because we all know it exists though they may not admit it openly.
Let me also say that housewives are also to blame for this situation as servants have suffered a lot in the past. We know how they have been asked to do extra work apart from their regular work without being paid for it and their salaries are cut when they don’t come to work which is not fair as even they deserve some paid leaves! People who work in the organized sector get a certain number of leaves (read paid leaves) every year but they don’t think twice before cutting their domestic servant’s salary. Even domestic servants deserve all the employment benefits but they don’t get them as they are not into organized sector. So it’s nice to see them form a union of sorts to fight for their rights. Nowadays, their rights include paid leaves, Diwali bonus etc.!! But with rights come responsibilities and there should be a way to make sure that they exercise all their duties with diligence. So one solution that we can have is this: Recognize their union as official, select one of them as their representative and have a system in place where housewives are assured of the daily services by making sure that when servant is not able to come due to some unforeseen circumstances then somebody else substitutes on her behalf so that housewives' interests are taken care of. Also have consensus on number of days that can be taken as leave and also the hike that may be given every year or a couple of years so that servant doesn’t ask for unnecessary hikes anytime. With a system like this in place everyone will benefit.

Curious case of two cobblers

I walk for at least an hour everyday owing to a lot of reasons like busses' timing not coinciding with that of mine, my inability to afford rickshaw, and to an extent my tummy which, lately, has started gathering some fat! This habit of walking, as one would expect, takes its toll on shoes etc. And let me tell you that I am a regular visitor of those roadside cobblers and most of them address me by name! I have spent a fortune getting my shoes, slippers, or chappals getting stitched. Last week while I was getting out of my home I realized that the outsole and the toe cap of my shoe had been separated exposing my tow with amorphous nails! I had no idea as to how in the hell was I going to reach the nearest cobbler. Still I made it there after 20 minutes which on any other day would have taken 2 minutes. I wasn't sure whether that guy would have come by then but it was such a relief when I saw him there. When I was removing a shoe of mine that had to be stitched he looked at me in disbelief and said "yeh dhandha to maine 3 din pehele hi bandh kar diya!" (I have closed down this business since three days). Now it was my turn to look at him in disbelief! I took about 10 seconds to recover before I asked "yeh dhandha bandh kiya to ab karte kya ho aap?" (Now that you have closed this business of yours, what do you do for a living?) Then he went on to say that he had stopped doing the shoe-chappal business and instead decided to stick to doing only the Rickshaw business i.e. the stitching of torn black outer covers of rickshaw and other rickshaw related work. I didn’t ask as to why he had switched his family business (it was started by his father).
[There are actually two cobblers situated within a distance of a few meters, close enough to snatch away each other's customers. Of late, there was a price war going on between them! Especially in the last few months where it seems people had stopped buying shoes or reduced the frequency of buying them (may be due inflation which forced them to postpone their purchase) which had led to good business for cobblers as people had to stay with their old pair of shoes. We actually experienced a buyer’s market where the cost of stitching went down by almost 30%!]
So now here I was left stranded with a shoe in my hand and a few meters to cover before I could reach another cobbler. And when the second one was finally done with all the stitching I extended one Rs.5 coin expecting a rupee or two back. But then he replied that it would cost me Rs.7! Without arguing I gave Rs.7 and left as I was running late. But I could not help asking one question “lagta hai aapne rickshaw ka stitching karma bandh kar diya hai?” (It seems you have stopped doing the rickshaw business) to which his reply was “haan!!” (Yes) Then I realized what had happened. Few days back they were competing for both groups of customers (Rickshaw wallas as well as people who came with their chappals, shoes etc.) which had led to a small price war. But now suddenly one dedicates himself to the rickshaw business and the other to the Chappal business which allowed them to charge higher prices as there was no competition now. And as you would agree if someone requires the services of a cobbler, it’s the nearest cobbler who would get the business. So it’s not difficult to conclude that both of them have come to some sort of agreement to create a situation where there is only one cobbler giving a particular service (which may be for shoes or rickshaw) within that area.
Now a question may arise that how did they agree upon this considering that one business may not be equally profitable as the other. And here’s where location advantage comes into picture. The person who is providing services to the Rickshaw wallas is situated near a Rickshaw stand, a chai walla as well as one sulabh shauchalaya! And the interesting thing is the Rickshaw wallas are being charged the same as they used be earlier indicating a tacit agreement between the two cobblers as the one who is looking after the chappal business would earn less than the other so to compensate for that loss he would increase the charges. One more thing which could be a part of the agreement is that the one who is handling the rickshaw can’t charge more to take advantage of the situation as this would put him in a better position than the other which could motivate the one suffering to break the agreement and start doing the Rickshaw business as well.
I know I am assuming a few things here but all these coincidences can’t be happening at the same time right? And if this is true then hats off to them for pulling it off!!