Hair fare

I get upset every time I go through the list of funny ads and see that the matrimonial ads rarely make it to the list. I feel most of the matrimonial ads are funnier than the funniest ads that we would have seen and suggest you go through these ads online or in newspapers; you will surely fall off your chairs laughing. But few days a go I found ads similar to these online albeit for a different reason i.e. for selling hair. One girl had posted something like “I will be cutting my hair…12.5 inches…silky…smooth…receive compliments for hair all the time…will cut it once the money is received!” This is a very good example of how internet is turning the tables in our normal life. On any other day one would go to salon have his/her hair cut pay for the service and leave, that was it. But now they are paid for doing the same thing! All you need to do is just upload a picture of your hair on site and let people start bidding for it. We all know how big this industry has become in south where devotees offer their hair and then it is exported to a number of countries. But earning money from selling hair online is something that I had never heard of. This whole thing does explain the logic behind Garnier’s tagline ‘Take care’ i.e. take care and get a good fare!

Crime pays and how!

Whoever said crime pays went to jail in Austria! Located in the city of Leoben in Austria is a jail that will put any heaven to shame. A look at it from outside will make you think of it as five-star hotel, it is that deceiving. We see how new buildings provide amenities like gym, indoor games inside their clubhouse and charge a premium for it. Here you have all these amenities and many more and that too at free of cost! The jail has a world-class gym, provision for indoor games, basketball court, huge jogging track and what not. I am just wondering whether Austria has done this intentionally as it features in the list of countries with least crime rates in the world and may be it is so bored of not having crime related news that it is now giving incentives to people to commit wrongdoing!
Just imagine having a prison like this in India. We will see lawyers fighting for (read against) their own clients to make sure that they get the maximum punishment. Highest paid lawyer will be the one who would request and convince the judge to give his client (criminal) the life sentence. Forget about criminals, common man who is so frustrated in India for want of basic facilities like water, electricity would prefer living in jail for rent. You would see all the anti-India organizations surrendering to the government, as instead of living incognito and run the risk of losing their lives anytime they would prefer the hospitality that this jail offers. I have no idea about the actual reasons of making such prisons in Austria but jails like these in India will certainly mark the end of all crimes considering the way most of the people are living here with no basic facilities in place.

The other side of literacy

Reading TOI is fun and literally so as you would rarely find some 'news' in it. Most of the times the newspaper is busy discussing, improving sex life of people! But after a long time I came across some news which combined its favorite topic sex with some really shocking news. The article that I am referring to talks about how Thailand, more known for its sex tourism is now becoming a tourist attraction but for some different reason this time i.e. for attracting married couples to improve or guarantee their chances of having a baby boy!
We talk about how big businesses always find a way around government policies to get permissions or to save taxes by exploiting loopholes in the existing system and how common man is always made the victim. But wait, the common man has become smarter and like others has found a way to get around the law in India which does not allow prenatal sex selection. As a result of this 1600 girls per day have gone missing in India from 2001-07 (source: UNPF). One fact that goes unnoticed most of the times is that the practice of sex selection is more prevalent in those places where people are literate and as a result more aware about the various treatments and facilities available like screening technologies etc. Someone has rightly said "There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling, and technology. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technology." This awareness coupled with some ruthless selfish doctors has created a very scary situation in India: we are running out of girls. I have had my share of GD i.e. Group discussion or group dogfight during my MBA to find a job. I don't want to go through the same process to find a girl. To support my argument (can't call it MY argument as I read it somewhere long time ago) let me just share some data with you all. I made list of top 15 literate states in India along with the list of 15 states having the worst sex ratio. Shockingly, there were nine common states in these two lists! This may not be the most conclusive evidence but certainly augments the argument made above regarding the relationship between literacy rate and sex ratio.
Whereas I do agree that there are many factors responsible for the present scenario, but at the same time no one can deny the link between these two factors.

It’s a MINI issue, SKIRT it!

Recent news of Khap panchayat in Muzaffarnagar banning girls from wearing jeans came as a shock to many. The panchayat believes this will prevent eve-teasing incidents and help maintain decency. A lot of furor is created every time something like this crops up and rightly so. What in the hell the panchayat has to do with this? On one hand we talk about the freedom of speech where even the worst of stand-up comedians make fun of Prime minister on national TV and on the other hand we want to decide what one should wear. If this ridiculous news makes you angry I have got some more news to cool you down on the same lines. One small town in Italy, Castellammare di Stabia is planning to ban wearing of miniskirts! The mayor (modern version of panchayat) believes miniskirts can be very provocative and can lead to indecent behavior. Surprisingly this news comes from a country which has produced Giorgio Armani! Forget Armani, it comes from the country headed by Silvio Berlusconi who himself has been alleged to have a lot to do with miniskirts! Nobody knows how much of this allegation is true, may be the opposition is trying to tarnish his image. But one thing that is sure is that if this kind of stupid laws can exist in a country like Italy then it should not come as a surprise if a small town in India decides to ban wearing of jeans. Besides, nobody has defined what decency is? If a well known director in India makes a movie depicting intimate scenes it qualifies as aesthetic movie and same movie by an unknown person becomes a ‘C’ grade movie. So let’s just not get affected by this news as it is just a mini issue, skirt it!

Unity is strength?

Saying "unity is strength" is like saying bombshell Neha Dhupia's next movie will fail to detonate, it is that obvious! Okay, I am not here to discuss Neha Dhupia’s non-existent career so let me come back to the main topic. Just yesterday I experienced two different incidents of this particular adage. The reason I am saying ‘different’ is because one of those examples reconfirmed my belief in the proverb whereas the other made me see the darker side of it.
As always I was traveling in a bus where moving your body was a crime as if everyone in the bus had told each other to "statue" (old school games...Still love them). On its way through the alleys of Kurla, the bus happened to brush along the side of a truck. Initially I felt only the left hand side mirror of the bus had kissed the driver's door. But I was mistaken as the bus driver didn't seem to care and it continued moving forward jolting the truck on its way, one could actually see the truck moving. Still the driver didn't care and moved forward. Nothing happened for few seconds, and then we saw the truck driver racing towards the bus from behind. He, like a speeding car, overtook the rear-wheels of the bus and reached the front door and got in. Without wasting a second he started beating the bus driver. He was so much aggrieved as the bus driver didn't even come out to see what had happened and how much damage was done. It was then the proverb came into picture. Everyone in the bus started getting angry with the truck driver as they were running late! Despite it being bus driver's fault, the passengers threw the driver out of the bus, abusing him they asked him to go to BMC and complain instead of wasting their time here. It is anyone's guess whether that truck driver would get justice or not. But the unity of passengers certainly saved the wrongdoer!
When I finally got down from the bus I was a bit shocked as this could happen to anyone driving his personal vehicle and even in that case the bus driver would manage to get away. That is when I experienced another example of this. One bus had broken down on the slope and I could see all the passengers as well as the passers-by having their share of fun pushing it upwards. It was such a relief to see the strength of unity in real sense.

Stick to what you have, as what you want is not there!

I came across this good article on itthing.com which discusses the strangest jobs in history. But among these jobs I found the best as well as the worst job profiles. I promise by the end of this post people who feel they have the worst job will fall in love with their current profile! And the ones who feel they already have the best job will have to eat their words! So let’s begin. First profile that we will discuss today is that of a Stercorarius. They were found in ancient Rome at a place where people were living on hills, had no money for plumbing so practically no way to treat their poop! And some were against the sewer system due to its association with foul smell. So the job of a Stercorarius was to travel door to door collecting human waste matter and sell it off to farmers who would use it for their crops. Now there is one question that crops up in my mind: were any of those people (who would give poop to Stercorarius) not farmers? As it is hard to think of any other work they would be doing considering the fact that they were living in rural area and farming was the best occupation in ancient Rome. And if they were farmers themselves then was there a need to give it to someone else! Now let us come to the best profile in the world. It is that of an Orgy planner! (Please don’t confuse it by comparing it with event management!). His job was to plan, of course, an Orgy for the rich. Need I say what all activities it involved and how satisfying this job must be. I am sure many of you would agree to work without pay if you had that choice!
So the moral of the story is if you are not enjoying what your doing currently just think of a Stercorarius and feel happy and if you actually enjoy what you are doing currently (rarest specie in the world) then think of an Orgy planner and feel sad!!

Third 'C' of Selling

My friend asked me once "how does one sell?" and I was at a loss for words. Then I told him there are only two ways in which one can sell: either you convince the customer or you confuse him. Okay I agree we all studied this so there is nothing new to it. But there is something that we didn't study and still it is being used more often than not by people to sell things nowadays. It is the third 'C' of selling apart from the other two i.e. convince and confuse. The third and the most important 'C' nowadays is 'C' for corrupt! We always knew this but it is just that it was never put into theory (for obvious reasons!).
Let us understand this with one example: We have more news channels than news viewers in India today. How do you differentiate and how do you position yourself in the market as any new news channel would realize that all the possible positions have already been taken in the market (double-meaning not intended!). But still you have got to do something to address this issue and the channels (especially business news channels) have actually found a way out i.e. corrupt the audience. They do this by having the most beautiful set of news readers. I am not trying to say that they are there on those channels purely because of their looks; they are of course beauty with more brains than men have. But the channels are capitalizing on their looks because if there is a choice between two channels: one having a male reader and other having a beautiful female reader (other things remaining equal), it goes without saying which channel one will prefer. Again some might say that one needs to be presentable to appear on news channels and I agree with that notion. But I fail to understand how in the recent past these ‘presentable’ news readers invariably turn out to be the most beautiful women on television! And only news channels have to be blamed for this.
Adding weight to my argument is one of the headlines on one political news site (www.politicususa.com) which says “Fox news combines sex with tax”. This headlines comes in the wake of fact that one Fox newsreader (they say Fox cheerleader!) was wearing such a revealing dress that it was practically impossible for anyone to not notice it. And the topic of discussion was “Obama and Tax Cuts” (so it explains the logic behind headline as well as the dress!)